Team Disaster
by randomlydrabbling
Summary: The start of a team later known as Team Disaster, consisting of Genma, Ebisu and Gai.
1. Greetings

They had been waiting for three hours now.

Genma sighed, eyes wandering across the field. He could see his two brand-new teammates scattered to their own corners. Gai, loud as always, was busy demolishing the training equipment. Ebisu had a book of rules on his lap, sunglasses reflecting light towards Gai. If Gai was anyone else but himself, he'd probably would have started yelling at Ebisu to move. But Gai was treating it as one of those ridiculous challenges he liked bothering Kakashi with.

Well, at least there wouldn't be a fight breaking out. Genma smiled slightly as he fell back onto the grassy field, staring up at the cloudy blue sky. While the other two were relaxed, Genma was nervous. His stomach felt like a bubbling pot.

This would be the third time he'd attempt to get on a team. He had technically graduated from the academy at age seven, but at age ten, he still wasn't on a team. If he managed to screw this up… then there was a very, very good chance he wouldn't be getting on a team at all. This was the last chance.

Gai paused in his kicks, glancing around the empty field. "We did come to the right field didn't we?"

Genma blinked, noting that the sun had jumped further up into the sky. Somewhere during this time, he had fallen asleep. It was well past noon now, and they had all arrived at the field near the crack of dawn.

Ebisu glanced up from his book. The sunglasses hid his eyes, but Genma didn't need to look into them to see the nervousness in his shoulders. Gai's frown grew- Genma glanced around the empty field.

"Well, we should still have one more test." Ebisu murmured as he glanced back down at his book. Ebisu was about the same age, and he too was probably feeling the pressure of not having a team yet.

"Is this the test?" Gai asked curiously, glancing around again. "Find our new teacher?"

"Probably not." Genma muttered. "The other times we were supposed to talk to each other before we started the test- and it was always a test of battling abilities."

Gai glanced back at the posts he had managed to destroy. Then his eyes switched back to where Genma and Ebisu sat with their own, simmering worry. "But it's nearly four o'clock, and we still haven't met our new sensei."

Four? "And just how do you know that?" Ebisu muttered, obviously not expecting a real answer.

"Papa just went by." Gai pointed to where Genma could distantly make out a small figure running laps. "He always goes for laps here at four. I usually join him."

Genma really, really didn't want to miss out on joining a team. He didn't want to be Maito Dai, infamous for being a Genin at age thirty. In fact, if Gai managed to pass the test, and the three of them weren't found wanting in regards to teamwork, Gai had a very, very good chance of becoming a Chūnin. They'd drag him along as long as it meant they were on a proper team and not sent back to the academy.

That is, if they weren't flat out failing the test right now through not locating their teacher.

Genma climbed to his feet, pulling out a senbon. He started chewing on the thin metal, eyes lazily scanning the empty field. "Well, should we split up and look for him? I think we've waited around long enough."

"Wait." Gai and Genma glanced at Ebisu, slowly standing with a frown. "I don't think that's a good idea. The rules state-"

Gai snorted indelicately. Ebisu ignored him. "-That we don't leave the field until we're contacted by our teacher."

"Well, we won't leave the field; we just look around the field." Genma rationalized. "As long as we don't leave the field itself, then we should be fine."

Ebisu didn't exactly look that comfortable with the idea. Genma waited patiently- there were always rumors about why someone would get sent back to the academy. Ebisu's rumor was that he was too fussy about the rules for his teammates to get along with.

"Fine. As long as we don't take a step out of the designated meeting spot, it should be fine."

Gai trotted up to them, uncapping a nearly empty water bottle. "Then are we going together, or splitting up? If the teacher is waiting for us, then we might get sneak attacked if we split up."

But splitting up meant covering more ground. And, there were fewer chances for an argument to break out and destroy their teachers' assessment of them. "Let's split up. If one person gets attacked, then the other two can recover at a distance and get in a counter." Ebisu frowned for a moment- "At least, that's what the rules suggest."

Genma and Gai nodded- it made sense. And it wasn't like either one of them had a better idea.

"Remember to thoroughly search the entire field even if someone else has already searched." Ebisu said, taking a bit more confident tone now that he was actually being listened too. "Three searches will be better than one."

"Okay, I'll start on the far end." Gai volunteered.

Before either one could object or confirm, he was already trotting towards the far end of the field.

"Where should I start then?" Genma questioned languidly. Ebisu was pretty good at taking charge already, so there was no need to ruin a good streak.

"I guess if we start at opposite corners of this side, and work our way towards Gai?" It was more of a question then an order, but it was good enough for Genma.

"Then I'll start on the eastern side."

The sun was beginning to set by the time the three managed to work their way to the opposite end of the field. They could find absolutely nothing. Judging by the way Gai walked towards them, feet dragging, he had found nothing either.

The three grouped together in the center, gathering around where they had stashed their food. "I know I didn't mistake our meeting spot." Ebisu muttered. "All three of us couldn't have possibly mistaken it all at once."

"And he isn't hiding anywhere on the field. We all searched really carefully." There were foot-shaped holes all across the ground from where Gai had attempted to trigger any traps. Gai sighed tiredly, and plopped next to his food box.

"Looks like we're out on a limb, aren't we? At least we haven't had to run all over town." There was a certain dark humor to all of this. Genma laughed a little to himself. "We should probably consider ourselves failed."

"I refuse to give up so unyouthfully!" Gai shouted back. "We arrived here at dawn, and have been here since! None of us have broken any of the rules! We weren't tested at all."

"Is this our test? To see how long we're willing to wait?"

That was kind of grasping at straws. Even Gai had a dubious look on his face at the suggestion.

Genma shrugged, and popped open his lunchbox. It was still untouched, seeming how he had slept straight through noon. "Then should we continue to wait here?"

Gai glanced into his box, and grimaced a little. "I suppose. I don't have much food left though."

"If you hadn't eaten it all throughout the day-"

"I can't just eat it all in sitting! Then what would I do if I got hungry mid-way through training?"

Ebisu sighed, and stared down at his box. "I thought we'd be done before now, so although I packed breakfast and lunch I didn't pack dinner."

Genma tilted his lunchbox towards Ebisu. "We can share."

Gai nodded, "I packed extra just in-case."

Ebisu inched closer, before frowning. "No. Poison-"

Ah, Genma knew that rule. Don't take any foreign food without testing for poison first. It was kinda ridiculous out here in the middle of nowhere, but their teacher could have slipped something in there while they were searching.

Gai frowned at his lunchbox. "I might have a poison strip tester." He didn't sound too sure though. "But there are other ways, aren't there?"

Ebisu pulled out his small book of rules. "I have chakra countermeasures for poison testing in here, but they're a little advanced." They wouldn't be able to do it then. Genma settled down with the express intention of waiting it out.

Gai thrust out his hand. "We don't know until we try!"

Genma peeked over Gai's shoulder- realistically speaking there was no possible way for Gai to be able to pull together enough chakra to use it. It was three pages worth of chakra tracings and hand forms. Genma doubted he'd be able to do it either honestly.

Gai stared at it, before closing the book with a quiet little 'poof'. The three students stared at each other across the two boxes of food.

"Nope." Genma muttered. "So here's the question- do we eat and hope we won't end up dead? Or do we starve?"

Gai muttered as he started rooting through his lunchbox. Ebisu turned to his own empty lunchbox, also rooting for a poison strip. Genma's stomach rumbled loudly and hopefully. He was the one who had gone on the longest without eating after all.

"Do we have any extra lights? The sun will be completely gone soon," Gai asked plaintively. He was the youngest out of them, so it made sense that he was the one eying the darkness with the most fearfulness. Genma was a little surprised when it was Ebisu who nodded understandingly.

Ebisu pulled out a small lantern. "It'll only last a few hours." The warning lingered on the air.

"We just need to last until midnight, right?" Genma questioned, rather hopefully and trying to plan on where they could sit in the encroaching darkness. "After that, it's obvious that we messed up somewhere."

"I… Yeah." Ebisu and Gai looked down at the ground.

Genma ignored the way his stomach dropped out of his body at the thought. It was really kind of pathetic, how three loosers had managed to find their way onto the same team. Gai would have to prove he wasn't his father and show that he was worth something to a team. Ebisu had the basics down, but most teams found him too fussy to work with. And Genma? He was one of the oldest, most laid-back people who could fit on just about any team but through some small disaster found himself kicked off each one due to personality clashes.

Stars were really beginning to come out in earnest now, the towns lights a faraway twinkle. Gai's stomach rumbled like a hungry elephant. Ebisu's stomach wasn't far behind.

Ebisu lit the lantern.

"Let's eat."

Ebisu swallowed his protest, and nodded. "Let's."

Chopsticks crossed as Gai and Genma set about the task of distributing what food they did have to make three equal portions. Gai had the most food leftover, surprisingly enough. Despite Ebisu's snap of Gai chowing down throughout the day, he'd packed more than enough for it. Genma's lunch was a little nasty after staying out so long. Neither one of them had any sort of charm to keep the food fresh.

Ebisu pressed his hands together, "Thank you for the food."

Gai grinned, teeth glinting even in the small lanterns light. "No problem!"

"It's fine. I guess it's a good thing I slept through lunch." Genma took a bite of rice, before another thought entered his head. "Why didn't you two wake me up?"

"I thought you were cloud gazing, not sleeping." Gai stated matter-of-fact. "Plus I was busy training."

Ebisu shrugged, "I thought the same at first, and by the time I noticed you were actually sleeping, it was getting late and I was more concerned with the teacher missing."

Genma sighed.

What a motley crew they were. Chances were they were failed already-

"What are you kids doing here?"

All three children screamed as a masked figure melted out of the darkness. Gai instinctively tossed his box full of food directly at the man- it slammed into his head with remarkable precision. Ebisu brought his chopsticks down, aiming directly for the feet. Genma spat out his chopstick like his senbon, straight at the unprotected throat.

The ANBU member fell backwards with a quiet whimper and thoroughly unconscious. At least, Genma hoped that was unconsciousness.

A very, very short silence fell. "We are dead." Genma announced, mind beyond panicking. "We're gonna be tortured and murdered."

Gai scooted back a few steps. "Ebisu, back up. You're not out of his arm reach." He spoke like he knew that from experience.

Ebisu backed up, sunglasses masking his eyes and concealing the wide-eyed panic he was no doubt experiencing. His entire body was shaking with tiny little tremors that ran up and down. A wooden chopstick snapped underneath his feet.

All three jumped, and froze. Hopefully they looked at each other. If nobody had come out yet, then that would mean there was only this one, right? And if there was only one, they still had a chance of-

"Ebisu, duck!"

Gai hurtled forward as Ebisu dropped to the ground without questioning. Genma could see Gai's foot connect with something. Ebisu seemed to register the human presence as well, and kicked out. There was a rather solid thud, and Gai's yelp as he was sent tumbling down with the person.

Genma's mind slid past the split second panic, right into cool thoughtfulness. Gai was the one with the most experience in night brawling apparently. Ebisu's sunglasses had him at a complete disadvantage. "Ebisu! Get Gai! Gai, how many-"

"GENMA! DOWN!"

Genma rolled to the right, while going down- and ran straight into the feet of another ANBU member apparently watching all of this while swallowing his laughter. Genma could feel the small vibrations of a laugh against his back where he had rolled up against the legs.

It was with great satisfaction that Genma punched upwards with the knowledge that at least the other would stop laughing.

The ANBU member fell back with a strangled cry. Genma was about to use his body as a stepping stone, but stopped when a hand lifted him into the air. Lights flared all around, lighting up the field. A group of twenty-odd ANBU members were gathered around them.

Genma surveyed the chaos as Gai savagely chewed on the arm of one member, attempting to shake him off. Another was approaching with a rather steady pace, face hidden by the mask. Ebisu was also tucked beneath an arm, and seemed to have given in quietly. "Gai, stop!" Genma called out- the last thing he really wanted to see was Gai ripped in half by ANBU members.

Gai dropped to the ground like a stone, face twisted into an angry frown. "Genma, Ebisu, you two okay?"

He had a rather spectacular bruise blossoming across his cheek. Genma sighed, "We're fine."

Ebisu muttered, "Fine, but probably not for long."

They let Gai sit on the ground, even as they kept Ebisu and Genma suspended in the air. Genma could feel exhaustion creeping into his limbs. The adrenaline was fading, he had once again failed to get on a team, and the ANBU members were probably going to kill them all quietly.

"What are you three doing out here? All students should have left already."

"We're waiting for our teacher." Genma stated calmly. Gai wiped away blood with one hand, seemingly unbothered by it. A few ANBU members were gathering around the one person they had actually managed to take out.

Fox-mask guy hummed softly, but Turtle-mask questioned further. "Where is your teacher?"

"We don't know," said Genma. Ebisu and Gai kept their mouths shut.

It occurred to Genma that this was a really huge group of ANBU members that had apparently decided to take a stroll around the fields with their masks on and weapons at ready. This was a really bad sign. Ebisu seemed to of realized it as well, though Gai seemed confused.

"Anyways, I'm guessing we should go home now and say nothing to anyone about what we saw out here?" Genma smiled hopefully.

"Hmmm." Dove-mask turned to Fox-mask. "We should probably take them in for now. We still haven't caught the culprit."

Gai nearly lashed out when an ANBU member took a step closer to him, but stilled at Ebisu's hissed words. The expression on his face clearly stated his thoughts on the entire ordeal. The angry, muleish look was the last thing Genma saw before darkness overtook him.

* * *

A throbbing, pounding headache did a tap-dance along his ears. Genma stifled a groan as he slowly sat up. Blurry eyes attempted to focus- he was in the main mission hall, and there was a nurse crouched before him. Her eyes were soft as she ran chakra-glowing hands along his forehead.

He closed his eyes, leaning into the gentle touch thankfully. There was something missing, just a little, but Genma couldn't quite place it- "Gai? Ebisu? You two here?"

Gai's voice spoke up from his right, "Over here."

Ebisu mumbled, but didn't speak up. Genma forced his eyes open, and turned towards where the sound was. Ebisu was lying along a similar bench, arm flung over his eyes and ignoring the world. Gai shuffled closer. "Looks like they knocked us out with drugs."

Ebisu muttered, "My father is going to punish me for this."

Genma ignored the two's dark tones to joke, "Well, we managed to at least get one ANBU member pretty good."

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a hint of a smile on Ebisu's lips. Gai frowned further. "That just means they'll come back for revenge."

"Revenge? Oh no, I already forbade that."

Ebisu immediately sat up, Genma straightened from his slouch, and Gai grew stiff and still. The Hokage had arrived sometime while they were busy chatting, flanked by two masked guards. "Now then. I believe the nurses should be almost finished with driving away the headache. As for you three- once healed you may return home."

Ebisu sighed softly, and Genma's gaze dropped to the ground. They had failed whatever test their teacher had placed before them. They would once again return to the Academy.

"We're disbanded, huh?" Gai muttered discouraged.

"Oh, no, no." The Hokage held his hands up. "We will be assigning a new teacher to you three. Until that happens we will set up some temporary teachers. You should return home, and we will send message when we have made a few more decisions." The unspoken admonition not to ask about their former teacher was clear enough.

It took another half-hour, but they were released near midnight.

Gai stared up at the cloudless black sky. Streetlights flickered. "We passed." Ebisu muttered. He was staring off down the road a dumbstruck look plastered across his face. The sunglasses slid down his nose unheeded. "We passed."

Genma whooped with joy, hands flying into the air- "We passed!"

Gai roared with excitement- It may have been a skin-of-your-teeth, not really official passage, but they had _passed_. They were on a team. Even if it meant they had to see each others ugly faces, Genma knew that it was a whole lot better then facing going back to the academy once again.

The nurse who had followed them out sighed, "Now then, go home."

It was the start of a team that would go on later to become known as Team Disaster.

* * *

_a/n: Team Disaster is really tickling my fantasy, but expect gratuitous amounts of Kakashi later on_. _Can't have Gai without Kakashi in there somewhere._


	2. Useless Teachers

Minato met Gai the same way _everyone_ met Gai.

There was a blur of green spandex, large, creepy eyes that seemed to stare into the soul, and a grin that blinded even those that wore sunglasses. There may have also been the thought of _What was that thing just now?!_ that was swiftly discarded as the blur resolved into a human shape. A loud, boisterous voice that tickled at the back of his memory shouted, "Kakashi! I see you got onto your team as well!"

Kakashi, Minato had found, is a very withdrawn, quiet child who hasn't said more than five words to him. "Gai. You got onto a team?"

In three seconds the mysterious child has dragged more words out of Kakashi then Minato. Gai eagerly nodded, shifting a large bag in his arms. At that moment, the stench hit like a wall. Obito gagged, as Rin politely pinched her nose shut. Kakashi ignored it; it was no doubt filtered out by his face mask at least a little.

"Hm." Kakashi did lean back when Gai leaned forward.

"We should have another contest soon, but I'm afraid I can't today!"

"Good!" Obito yelled, finally overcoming the smell, "Now get out of here!"

Minato took as step forward, intending on stopping the fight before it could begin, but Gai flat out ignored Obito. It was like Obito had never spoken when Gai told Kakashi straight up, "We should spar tomorrow!"

"You'll loose." Kakashi stated calmly. Despite his harsh words, his body language remained relaxed and open.

Obito chimed in with another, "You always lose you stupid idiot! Why can't you take a hint and just leave?"

"Who asked you?! Besides, Kakashi is my eternal rival! If I were to give up now it would be-"

"GAI!" The shout came from further down the road, and below. Minato glanced towards the lower street, to see two kids with their protectors unfolded and tied around their heads like protective hats staring up at them. "Gai! You up there?"

Gai waved. "Genma! Ebisu!"

The two children were absolutely covered in manure. They held similar bags under their arms. A tall man, probably their teacher, stood a few feet behind them. If the kids were covered, the teacher was soaked in it. Actually- he recognized the man, just a little. "C'mon Gai! We need to go turn in all of these seals we found!"

"Coming!"

Gai leapt off the building. Minato bit back a yell at the last moment as Gai landed cat-like on his feet. Gai trotted to the two waiting teammates. "C'mon Gai, once we drop these off, our mission of the day will be over and we can go bathe in the river."

Gai nodded, adjusting his bag. The small, bedraggled team of four took off, wearily tromping through the streets. Minato watched them go with a slight frown- why hadn't they dropped off the seals at the warehouse? They were going in the direction of one of the smaller bases that could handle the more dangerous seals…

"Obito, Rin, Kakashi. Go to the field before me. There's something I want to know."

It was bad manners to leave his newly formed team alone, but all three had displayed enough maturity that Minato knew they could make it too the field just fine. "Minato-senpai? Is something wrong?"

"No, I'll catch up with you there. Go ahead and set off now."

Kakashi's eyes were sharp on his back as he dropped to the street below with a graceful, fluid movement. Minato smiled reassuringly at him. He wasn't surprised when Kakashi turned away, ignoring him to focus on his teammates.

It was easy enough to catch up with the other group- follow the manure prints and smell. "Ahhh, Minato."

The slightly older man nodded at him. Minato waved back, "Keitaro. Why are you heading this way?"

"The seals we found are technically dangerous if they're left alone." Keitaro groaned, "The mission scroll said they were harmless, but I know my seals."

Minato smothered a chuckle. "I never expected you to be a teacher."

"I'm not." Keitaro scowled darkly, "I was woken up at three in the morning by an ANBU member dropping off a scroll explaining the situation to me and telling me that I would be their substitute teacher until they found someone who could fill the part full time."

Situation? "What situation is that?"

Keitaro hesitated, shooting a careful glance at the three kids walking in front of them. His voice lowered to a whisper, "Their real teacher was found guilty of selling information to other villages. It's been a huge disaster from start to finish. ANBU is still trying to track him down but they haven't been successful."

Keitaro hefted the bag further up onto his shoulder. "The team would've been flat out disbanded, but they were kept together to keep questions from being raised."

Minato's attention was broken off when the child with sunglasses stared yelling, "How can you have so much energy?! You couldn't have had much more sleep then we did!"

"I didn't sleep at all!" Gai's grin sparkled in the sunlight. It kicked at Minato's memories. "By the time Papa had calmed down it was time for morning laps! We did five hundred this morning before breakfast!"

F-Five… hundred… "Maito Dai. The last time I heard of something so…" Minato paused, manners strangling down the urge to continue the sentence in front of Maito's son. "Ha. What an interesting team."

"Why can't you at least act tired? Genma, why aren't you as annoyed as me?" The child in sunglasses groused.

Genma hummed softly, breaking in with a story of his own, "If you've ever helped take care of younger siblings then getting by on a few hours of sleep is easy enough."

"You're crazy too Genma." The sunglasses announced.

"Ebisu!" Gai shouted, and the three were off and arguing again.

"They've been doing that all day," grumbled Keitaro. "Ever since we arrived too late to get any better jobs… Augh, the day has just been a huge disaster."

"That bad?" Minato laughed.

"Bad? Bad?! You don't know how bad it's been! I was woken up at three with the scroll, I had to pull together all of my gear after just getting off an A-Rank mission, and then it turned out that none of the kids got their scroll until well after the meeting time specified on mine! By the time we had completely sorted everything out all of the good missions were taken and we got a mission to help with cows. Imagine our surprise when it turned out someone had dumped a huge bag of dangerous seals among the manure!" The rant ended with Keitaro grinding his teeth together and eyes on fire.

Minato nodded, and slowly backed up a step. "Sounds pretty bad. But I'm sure it's just a rough start."

Keitaro shook his head. "Rough start or not, I'm ready to hand them off to whoever their real teacher will be."

Minato nodded understandingly as Gai's fist flew into the air and scattered a bit more manure over the street. "I'll leave it too you then."

* * *

Gai jumped into the river with the expression of the deepest enjoyment. Genma, already waist deep, wrung out his shirt as he let the river carry away the stench. Ebisu wadded in slowly, wincing at the coldness. "It's s-s-so cold! How do you two stand it?"

"I'm always last for the shower so it's ice cold by the time I get in."

"Ice baths are the best for sore muscles!" Gai splashed a little, scrubbing at the dark stains on his spandex. They weren't coming out.

Keitaro was further up the stream, working on a mission scroll. Genma glanced up the stream at him, before looking back at them. "So, what kind of teacher do you think we'll eventually get?"

"Probably a hard-working one." Ebisu chattered out, dipping down to scrub off more of the manure. "I mean, we're kind of a motley bunch, so they'll need a really good trainer for us." Ebisu pulled off his shirt, rather than wade any further. "I mean, Gai is really bad at everything except taijutsu, and then Genma's got a good all-around skills but he isn't proficient in anything."

Genma blinked at Ebisu- this was the first time he had ever heard an assessment of his skills not from a teacher. And Ebisu said the same sort of things that their teacher did.

"I'm working on getting better!" Gai protested from where he was currently neck-deep. His hair was tugged by the slow current. "I can't help it!"

"Some chakra training would help, don't you think?" Ebisu snapped back. "I mean, I guess if you manage to get good enough at taijutsu it won't matter, but you're not at that point."

Genma had never heard of that either. "Are taijutsu masters really that strong?" He couldn't help the slightly dubious note in his voice. "I've never heard of any before."

Gai shot an arm up from where he had almost disappeared beneath the water. "Then I'll just have to change that and prove taijutsu can hold up against everything!"

Ebisu glanced at Gai, "Not if you don't get better at it."

"I'm still learning."

"But you're learning from your father. And well, Gai. He's… nicer than mine, but he's also weaker."

Genma had never seen Gai put that much hatred and warning in one single look. Ebisu held up his hands in a placating measure. "I get it. You love your dad. But still- it can only get you so far. You're going have to do other training. If you keep up with your current training you'll end up with a huge weak spot to bladed weapons."

"That's true." Genma agreed, wedging himself in-between the two's heating up argument before it could get any worse. "You can't block blades with your fists."

Gai grumbled, but didn't attack like Genma half expected him too. Genma rolled his shoulders back, and glanced upstream. Their temporary teacher hadn't even noticed their discussion. He was too busy filling out what looked to be like an essay on their mission.

"Then Ebisu, we leave it up to you."

"Buh- WHAAAAT?!" Ebisu openly gaped at him.

Genma grinned- "Well, you're the one who could tell what sort of weaknesses we have. Besides, we'll only be doing this until we get a real teacher. After that you don't have to worry about it."

Ebisu looked down at the swirling river. Genma raised his voice a little, letting it carry to where Gai watched them from the water. Only Gai's watchful eyes and nose were visible. "Is that okay Gai? It'll mean extra training."

Gai regarded him for a moment longer- Genma hadn't seen Gai face anything that resembled training with anything less than overenthusiasm, even if it was chakra training that he failed miserably at. "Will it really help?" The words were almost lost on the river. "I've been doing all sorts of stuff, but…"

Was this really Gai? Gai who was legendary for his confidence and the fact that nobody had been able to take him down a peg despite numerous fights? It didn't sound like him.

"I'll do it!" Ebisu announced, apparently as thrown off as Genma was. "I'll show you what kind of trainer I can be."

Gai's uncharacteristic silence broke as Gai erupted from the water like a flying fish. "Then let us work together!"

Genma slapped his hands against his thighs. Perhaps this team wouldn't be too horrible- they were coming to a slow understanding of each other. Ebisu's father wasn't to be talked about at all, and Gai's dad wasn't to be insulted, both of which were understandable enough.

"I think we can make this team work. We shouldn't be the worst team around."

* * *

"I hate this team. I want off this team. Is it too late to go back to the academy?" Ebisu moaned as he sank onto the pile of his books. He was taking the title of team organizer very seriously, and Genma had to admit that they were slowly improving from what he could tell. The amount of training was nothing to sneeze at, but since Genma was the one to suggest the entire ordeal, he was going to stick with it through the end.

To be fair to their temporary teachers, each of them had tried to at least start a regular training schedule. It had been tossed out by the next teacher, sure, but Genma figured it was flexibility training. How well could they change and adapt was always a good question that should be answered. It was doing strange things to his sleep cycle, but having younger siblings was the biggest disturbance of them all.

"Are you sure you want to go back Ebisu? You'll be the laughingstock of the academy." Genma replied, folding a paper airplane. He shot it off in the direction of Gai currently trying out a spear.

"It's better then what we'll be doing now! Look at this!"

Ebisu waved a hand at the single scroll. "I tried to get the scrolls that go over the missions we've done, to get a better idea on what we need to work on, but they've all been barred from normal reading. That's odd, right?" Ebisu scowled darkly, "And we still haven't gotten a normal teacher, even though it's been nearly three months."

Genma folded another paper airplane and let it shoot off in Gai's direction. Gai nearly tripped over the spear, before forcing his center of gravity to change. The spear pierced straight through the paper airplane.

"I think we're probably pretty much forgotten about at this point." Genma sighed. "We should give up on having a proper teacher, huh?"

Gai whirled around the spear, using it as a platform to do a kick. Ebisu yelled, "Don't even think about it Gai! Once you get big enough, you'll just snap it in half!"

Gai yelled back, "But what else am I supposed to do with it?! It's getting in the way of all of my limbs!"

"That's why you're practicing!" Ebisu yelled back.

"I don't think a spear is the right weapon for Gai." Genma announced, "Maybe we should think about going in for a comedy troupe instead. Gai backstage, I'll be the joker, and you can be the straight man."

"I refuse." Ebisu grumbled, "I've already done enough research onto the whole training part for us to give up now."

Gai was rubbing off on Ebisu apparently. Ebisu rarely got so fired up about something.

They sat in silence for a short period. Genma toyed with the origami paper for the airplanes, staring up at the cloudy blue sky. "So- all of our missions are sealed from normal reading? Even the ones where we spent the entire time scrounging around manure?"

Ebisu nodded. "It's very odd. And the one mission where it wasn't sealed away was the day you were sick. Gai and I went on a mission with our teacher and we completed it early and went on to training."

"What kind of training?"

"Well, knife training. That didn't go so well. You were there for the end result of that. Gai nearly stabbed our teacher when he decided to appear in the middle of the field."

Oh yeah, he had seen that. It had been almost hilarious to see Gai's dumbstruck face as their temporary teacher found a blade hurtling right between his eyes. That particular temporary teacher had never appeared again. They had made do with picking up their own assignments from the building until their next teacher had abruptly popped into their lives.

"I don't think weapons with blades suit Gai at all." Genma remarked, sidetracked as Gai shifted the spear from hand to hand. "Blunt force trauma suits him a lot better."

"A mace is a little unwieldy."

"There's others."

"Well, he doesn't quite have the needle-like precision required for a senbon like you do."

The two stared at Gai floundering with the spear for a few minutes longer. "Well," Ebisu at last said with a dubious look on his face, "At least this way, if needed, he can pick up any weapon and start using it. I mean, since he has no chakra to really speak of, being able to fall back to regular weapons if he can't use his body would probably be the best."

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Genma started folding another paper airplane. "Gai takes a while to start getting the hang of things."

Genma shot the airplane off, before switching focus. "And what about you?"

"Me?"

"I haven't seen you training any." Genma pointed out. Ebisu suddenly found the scroll in his hands extremely interesting. "If you don't train, then you'll fall behind."

"That's…" Ebisu trailed off. Genma waited, his paper airplanes slowly filling the field. He could be patient and wait. "I didn't… I'm fine."

Genma stifled a sigh.

So Ebisu wasn't ready to open up yet, huh? That was fine; it wasn't like they were in a rush or anything. While other teams were beginning to go out on their own missions, slowly spreading further and further from Konoha, they were stuck within the walls.

"Okay, but if you got anything else to say, I'll listen to it."

Ebisu fidgeted with the scroll in his hands, before shrugging. His sunglasses didn't let Genma see if his eyes were accepting or suspicious, but his shoulders were hunched. Genma leaned back further into his seat. "In another month or so, we should talk to whoever our teacher will be about getting a mission out of Konoha."

"That would be nice." Ebisu said, leaning back slightly. "I mean, it's not like anything will go drastically wrong like high-level nin's attacking us."

* * *

_a/n: Ages and timing are really confusing in the anime/manga, so I'm just going to hope for the best and try to muddle it out. Also, Ebisu's hobby of training elite ninja starts here, because both Genma and Gai are elite ninja. Though Ebisu could use a little help himself. Gai passed the Chūnin exams at 11, Genma at 13, and Ebisu at 17. Ebisu kinda lagged there, poor guy. _


	3. A New Teacher

Minato got the summons to go to the Hokage's office at midnight by a ANBU member. He answered the call to a scene of absolute chaos. Shinobi fluttered in and out, in silent, but urgent tasks that quickly moved through the city bearing summoning scrolls and missions. They flowed around each other- if one wasn't looking, they would never know that there was so many people in one place. Each and every one of them was silent. Except for the small knot off to the side, where a low murmur of voices surrounded three figures Minato knew very well.

Gai curled up in his seat with huge, blank eyes that stared off into the distance. Tear and snot tracks had dried on his face. Ebisu was flat on his back, still breathing hard from whatever had happened. Genma was equally exhausted, with a huge gash that had been quickly patched up across his chest.

The three were surrounded by ANBU, medic, and interrogators.

"What's going on?"

"The Seven Swordsman of the Mist," supplied a nearby interrogator. "Apparently they appeared close to Konoha, so we're all scrambling to respond."

"But what does that have to do with those three?" Gai, Genma and Ebisu had made themselves semi-permanent visitors in the eight months since they first met. Since they had no official teacher even now, Minato had let them stick around a little to chat with his team. Whatever else, Gai wouldn't be turned away no matter what, so there was no point in attempting to shoo them away.

"They're the ones who ran into them." The interrogator shook his head, "All seven of them."

All seven swordsmen? How were they still alive? They were _children_. Minato knew even the Hokage would have a tough time against all seven swordsmen at once.

Gai curled up into an even tighter ball as a hand was laid on his head. Genma stirred slightly as another approached, hands lying on his head as well. Ebisu sighed tiredly, but leaned into the hand anyways.

The interrogators weren't bothering with an oral report- they were ripping the memories straight from the kids' minds.

Minato looked away from where the three sat, as the Hokage approached. His white cloak billowed out impressively behind him. "Ah, there you are Minato. Thank you for coming at such a late hour."

"It's no problem Hokage. I suppose I can guess why I'm here. To lead a group in searching for the Seven Swordsmen."

The Hokage nodded, arms tucked into his sleeves. Exhaustion tugged at his eyes. "The interrogators assure me that at least one of the Seven is dead, and probably more. But they're riled up now, and will probably be ready to attack."

"Dead? I know that we've been told we have quite a few geniuses, but I doubt three children kill even the weakest of the Seven. They're all amazing shinobi themselves."

It didn't make sense. The Hokage sighed, even more exhaustion creeping in. "Apparently the Maito family had a forbidden taijutsu technique called the 'Eight Gates'. While we have records of the Gates, they haven't been taught in a long time. The last technique is certain death in exchange for a brief burst of power."

Ah, that explained the tear tracks on Gai's face. It also explained why Genma and Ebisu were not looking at Gai.

The Hokage glanced at the three students, before looking back at Minato. "Please go out and search for the remaining living members of the Seven Swordsmen, and if possible kill them. I've already arranged for a gag order to keep this quiet. We don't want to raise a panic."

Minato could see from the corner of his eyes the ANBU members sorting themselves out to follow, watch, and, if needed, kill any of the three who blurted out the information. It was harsh, but the panic that would grip the city if it turned out that the Seven Swordsmen managed to get so close to Konoha without being detected would be devastating.

"I will do my best."

* * *

Shikaku Nara had been enjoying a rather relaxing day. The sun was bright, the birds were chirruping, and he'd just finished a few plans to help with the war and turned them in to his father. He wasn't quite ready for taking lead of an entire army, but father had him helping with the war efforts either way.

"This kind of relaxing day needs to be topped off with a spot of cloud gazing." Shikaku strolled along the empty training fields. There was a certain training field that had a huge tree that was perfect for lazing under. While he was there, he could rest, and start thinking of some new battle plans. Father had been frowning at them recently, and suggesting that he might want to make changes.

It meant that somewhere he was messing up, but he wasn't sure how or why. And Father wasn't giving him any hints on why he was displeased.

Thus, cloud gazing to clear his mind.

Shikaku paused at the edge of the field. Eyes flickered to where a single ten-year-old kid sat, fiddling with his sunglasses in one hand. The kid had twenty scrolls piled up around him. He was completely alone-

Shikaku's eyes narrowed for a brief moment. There, in the trees, he could feel a flicker of chakra. The kid wasn't alone. There was someone else in the shadows, watching the kid. Was it a member of the ANBU, or an enemy? Only one way to find out.

Shikaku plastered a smile across his face, and started the stroll to the tree and the child. The kid didn't seem to notice him, too intent on drowning himself among the scrolls. "Hello. Do you mind if I cloud gaze over here?"

The kid flinched, fingers tightening around his sunglasses for a brief moment. The moment passed after a brief second. "Sure, go ahead."

The kid edged away, piling the scrolls up like a really bad wall. Antsy kid, like he was waiting for an attack or death blow. Shikaku considered fifty different lines of questioning, before choosing a single thread. He flopped down onto the ground, staring up at the sky. "I guess I only have a little bit before your team comes along."

The kid went pale, curling up on himself a little more. "Nah, neither one is coming in today. Too much happened…" The kid cut himself off.

Shikaku kept his hand tucked from view, shadow ready and coiling within the trees branches for an attack he wasn't exactly certain would come. There was a very good chance the kid knew about the other watching him from the tree line, and wasn't panicking about that. Which probably meant ANBU, and ANBU never meant anything good. What had the kid gotten himself into that required an ANBU standing watch, probably to slit his throat at the slightest opportunity?

"Huh, sounds like your team is lucky." Shikaku faked a yawn- the wariness from the tree line faded slightly. "What are you working on then all by yourself?"

"Reports. Training schedules. Genma and Gai are counting on me to do at least that much."

What sour looking face. Shikaku relaxed his hand, letting the controlled shadow fade into a real shadow. He shouldn't interfere any further. Still, a ten-year-old doing training schedules? What an interesting thought. "Can I see?"

It might be a good break from war tactics and missions. Besides, even if the kid proved to be horrible at it, Shikaku could help out a little. It was troublesome, but it was a situation that Shikaku had inserted himself into.

"No." The kid scowled, protectively holding the scroll close. "You'll laugh and make fun of me."

Ouch. Did he really look that mean? Chōza was probably laughing at him now. Inoichi would probably be laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. But it was too much of a pain to correct the misinterpretation. "Hmmm, if you say so."

The kid started rolling up the scroll. Shikaku glanced at it sideways- it was only a brief glance, but it was enough.

The training plan was well put together. There was a weekly schedule, with big blank spots for whatever teacher they had. What was most interesting though was the list of abilities that were listed off to the side, neatly organized beneath Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, and Genjutsu. The kid wasn't half bad.

But he wasn't going to get involved in something so troublesome.

Shikaku turned his eyes to the sky- a kunai cloud drifted past. He really needed this break, didn't he? If even the clouds started looking like weapons, then he was probably too focused on the war. While the war was a horrible thing, there was little he could do other then a few plans that his father took a look over for any weak points.

The kid dropped the scroll on the other side, away from where Shikaku could reach. He then pulled out a different scroll and a pencil. He yawned, and Shikaku noticed for the first time that the kid looked absolutely exhausted. He rubbed at his eyes, and huddled further into the tree as if it could somehow keep him awake.

"Wanna cloud gaze with me? I think the kunai cloud is finally changing to something different."

The kid shook his head. "No thanks."

He continued writing away at his scroll. Shikaku shrugged easily, eyes slowly sliding close. His mind floated away on the warm fall breeze. He fully expected the snore that came an hour later. He wasn't going to get involved. It would be far too much of a pain to be involved.

His curiosity niggled at him though.

Shikaku sat up- and nearly flinched as he realized that the ANBU member had appeared before him. He hadn't been keeping track of where the member was- no, this was a different one. He had only sensed the one in the tree line, and that one was still there.

"Nara, please don't investigate any further. Otherwise punishment will come upon your head."

Shikaku slowly nodded. "Fine, I won't say anything to anyone." He knew they probably wouldn't kill him. At least, not in a way that could be reliably traced, and nobody could outsmart a Nara. Making the head of all war planning mad was probably very low on the list of things to do. "It's too troublesome to get involved with anyway really."

The ANBU member watched him carefully for a few minutes longer, before slowly nodding and turning away. "Just do not do anything that would require punishment."

The ANBU member vanished. Shikaku covered his eyes. A peaceful, restful day seemed to have vanished. Instead there was an overwhelming question of what to do next. Did he go and poke around a bit more? Or did he leave everything well enough alone?

Or, he could stay, and see what happened next.

Shikaku stared at the clouds until twilight came and the kid stirred. "Oh, it's that time- what are you still doing here? Don't you have missions you should be doing?"

"Taken off the front lines for a short bit." Shikaku waved a hand lazily, one eye sliding open. "Are you sure you should be napping out here next to a stranger?"

"Probably not." The kid laughed, a short and harsh sound. "I guess I should go back visit Genma in the hospital. I wonder what melon I should get him."

The kid pulled himself to his feet, and started gathering up the scattered scrolls. Shikaku remained lying on the ground, eyes closed.

"Ebisu. There you are. I've been wondering… oh, you were talking with a Nara?"

Shikaku opened one eye lazily. Well, well, well. How very interesting. The future Hokage, if his guess was correct, was standing next to Ebisu. But Minato, as he was supposed to, had the White Fangs son and a Uchiha on his team. Ebisu was neither of those two. There were also rumors of the girl already proving herself to be an amazing medic-nin that would surpass Tsunade without question.

"Minato-senpai." Ebisu murmured, "No, I wasn't. He was cloud watching."

"I see. Ebisu, have you seen Gai? He challenged Kakashi which Kakashi accepted, and well- I've never seen Kakashi come out of a battle looking that…" Minato trailed off. _Probably because of me,_ Shikaku thought to himself, _he doesn't want me to listen in_.

Ebisu said, "I haven't seen him all day. But I doubt you need to worry about him, tomorrow he'll be perfectly fine."

"Ebisu-"

"He will be. He and Genma were talking a few days ago, and he said he'd go challenge Kakashi and now that he has, he'll be fine." Ebisu stressed. "He's an idiot- there's nothing to really worry about. By tomorrow he'll be ready to move on."

"Ebisu."

Ebisu ignored Minato to finish gathering up his scrolls. "Now if you'll excuse me Minato-senpai, I have to visit Genma in the hospital." He ignored Minato's warning, worried look to march off.

Nara rolled over. "What an off-beat team." The ANBU member in the treeline was slowly following Ebisu. Judging by Minato's stance, he too was tracking the ANBU.

"Yes. They truly are quite the unlucky team. No teacher, and no promise of one."

That was news- there was a genin team that didn't have a teacher? Usually there was always a Jounin in waiting to take over. "They're that horrible, huh?"

The Shika-Ino-Cho trio always knew from the start that they would be together, and which teacher they would train under.

"Less terrible and more that whenever they try they end up falling into some kind of disaster. I've never met a team so unlucky as them. It makes me wonder what will happen during the Chūnin Exams next year. But, the Hokage said he'd try to find them a real teacher since the incident, so they should be settling down soon." Minato frowned, "It just seems odd that they haven't got a teacher yet. Genma especially- despite his laid-back attitude, he's more than capable of becoming a truly great fighter."

It was odd, but not impossible. There were other genin teams that would find themselves in the same boat if their own teacher died. There weren't many Jounin that were willing to devote themselves to full time teaching. Certainly there were quite a few willing to pitch in for a few days, or even a week. It would be like vacation- but to go full-out teaching? Nah, it was troublesome and bothersome.

"Sorry for troubling you, Nara. I'm sure you're not interested in them." Minato vanished, leaving Shikaku alone beneath the tree. Shikaku stared up at the rustling leaves, before closing his eyes.

Maybe tomorrow he'd take a poke around and see what he could find. He certainly wasn't going to bother tonight.

* * *

It was midnight, and he was waist deep in scrolls about the various missions that Team Disaster had gone on. It was a good nickname, Shikaku couldn't help but think- for their teachers. Either they had the bad luck of having some of the most incompetent teachers around, or someone was aiming to kill them off.

Dangerous seals scattered in manure, traps that shouldn't be set up, the time they managed to stumble upon an ANBU safe house chasing an escaped cat- it was almost hilarious. But if their teachers had been paying attention, then they should have been able to bring to a halt to those activities before it had gotten dangerous. And the one temporary teacher's written report about how the three tried to kill him with a knife between the eyes was obviously exaggerated. Or, if he really Shushin himself into the middle of a training field, his own fault.

"Shikaku? I thought you were trying to relax, not cause even more problems for yourself."

Shikaku glanced up at his friend Chōza standing in the doorway. "I heard about a troublesome team, and I wanted to see just who exactly they were. Look at this Chōza- while they were chasing down a cat they managed to run straight into an ANBU safe house."

Chōza laughed, and picked him up. "Hey! Wait a minute! Chōza!"

Chōza easily carried him out, seeming how Shikaku didn't really have the heart to fight back. "I was told to come and get you. Ino's working his father's shop tomorrow, so he's in bed."

"I'm surprised my father even noticed soon enough for you to come looking." Shikaku said, "How did you find me anyways?"

"An ANBU member appeared at your father's door, and then he sent me off to go find you. What did you get involved with this time? I thought things were too troublesome and bothersome to get involved with."

Shikaku shrugged, mind going back to Ebisu huddled beneath a tree. "I just met a kid."

"Are you, the laziest Jounin around, thinking about becoming a teacher?"

"What?! No, of course not! I'd never be able to relax as much as I want then!"

Chōza laughed again, the streets melting away until they were before the Nara compound. "Good luck with whatever your father has to say."

"Thanks Chōza." Shikaku settled onto his feet, waving goodbye to his friend. Chōza trooped off towards his own family home.

Shikaku entered his home, and came face to face with his father. "Ah, there you are Shikaku."

"Hey father. I'm surprised you're still up."

"Hmm, visits from the ANBU will do that to you." Shikaku couldn't even bring up enough decency to look sheepish. Instead, a half-childlike grin spread across his face. "I'm not going to tell you stop, but remember- you're not old enough to be a teacher yet. Minimum age requirement is twenty."

"I- who said- I don't want to be a teacher father."

"Hmph. Just reminding you."

"I'm going to bed now." Shikaku wearily started down the hallway.

He froze when his father laughed. "I suppose you'll want it for tomorrow morning."

"Huh?"

"You might not be old enough to be a teach but-" His father had the expression of deepest enjoyment as Shikaku's mind suddenly started running full speed. There was a scroll in his fathers hand. A scroll that was usually in teachers hands… "Have fun with your new temporary team. I had to agree with the Hokage's assessment that only a Nara could possibly handle the amount of amusing fun this team will bring about."

His fathers laughter haunted his dreams that night.

* * *

a/n: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I didn't know where to place Maito Dai's death, so I decided to place it pretty early on. It must have happened somewhere close to Konoha, for Dai to rush to his son's rescue. And having enemy ninja that close would be pretty terrible for Konoha's reputation.


	4. Gai

Shikaku swore quietly to himself.

He was really, really late. The kind of late that meant his new team had probably gone home in disgust and wouldn't be back tomorrow. And here he was, trying to be reliable(ish).

Chōza at least had the grace not to laugh at him too hard when Shikaku rushed out of the compound to beg him to feed the deer for him as he had other appointments. His father's laughter however wasn't turned down in the least, and echoed after him for the longest time.

Shikaku skidded to a halt at the entrance of the training field. There was only one kid on the field, dressed in bright green spandex. He was busy doing pushups, counting the number loudly- "Two-hundred thirty, two hundred thirty one, two hundred thirty two-"

Talk about someone who had too much energy. Shikaku frowned- eyes scanning the field. Something was off about this field. While there were marks of people entering and exiting, the tracks were over a day old. His Genin team that he was supposed to meet here hadn't appeared. Shikaku pulled out the scroll, checking it over as he expanded his range of nearby people. There was a watcher up in the trees- yeah, this kid was related to Ebisu somehow.

Shikaku carefully went over the teachers scroll in his hands. There, on the date written, it was spaced a little oddly. Like it had been crammed together. Don't tell him-Shikaku rubbed at the ink. It fell away. Father had changed the date. What was supposedly today would be tomorrow. Shikaku resisted the urge to swear unceremoniously at the sky, and settled with just a empathetic glare.

But- that child in the field was probably at least one of his students. He had already met Ebisu, Genma was probably still in the hospital, so that just left- Gai. The one who apparently liked challenging the Hatake child.

Shikaku ran his fingers though his hair, and wondered if he should go up and introduce himself or not.

Gai settled it when he went headfirst into the dirt and didn't get back up.

Shikaku cautiously approached, hyper-aware of the ANBU silently watching from the tree line. He crouched down next to Gai, lying face-first in the dirt. His face was a mass of dirt ingrained onto skin. Gai's chest rose and fell erratically. "Gai, how long have you been out here?"

The kid stirred, voice the slightest whisper, "Since after I challenged Kakashi."

Yesterday? Why hadn't he collapsed before this? Why hadn't anyone come and retrieved him? Well, it certainly ruled out him having any parents. And he probably had collapsed and just slept curled up on the ground. Shikaku considered leaving him there, but Gai's fingers twitched. "D-Don't mind me. I just gotta finish my two thousand pushups. I'm at a thousand two hundred thirty."

Never mind. Shikaku reached over to drag the mostly-unconscious child onto his back. Gai stirred weakly, a protest forming. He nearly hissed at the heat pouring from the small frame. Gai had been exercising long and hard, but now he needed to cool down.

"You need to get home and cool down."

The teachers scroll had Gai's address jotted down. He had only looked at it once, but it was more then enough. It was in the poorer part of town, not rougher- but poorer. Shikaku grumbled to himself, a steady stream of soft noises that seemed to relax Gai.

He tried silence, and was rewarded with fingers tensing along his shoulders, telling him that Gai didn't appreciate silence. So he filled it any way he could- mostly with ramblings about how troublesome and bothersome the last few missions were. Shikaku didn't talk about the fact that his newest 'mission' persay was the training and teaching of Gai. He doubted Gai even really registered he was there.

The house was small, but carefully tended too. There were no holes in the walls, no cracked windows, the walls were surprisingly clean of dirt even though there were a few pieces of graffiti scrawled on the white… But the lights were off, and the house was empty.

Shikaku tried the door knob. He wasn't sure if he was surprised, or resigned when the door easily gave way. It slowly, silently opened to a dark hallway. There was a pile of blankets, piled up at the end of the short hallway leading to the living room. It was left like a little nest of ugliness compared to how clean the rest of the house was. From that little nest, one could watch the door open.

There were two sets of shoes lined up next to the door way, one child size, the other adult. Shikaku kicked off his sandals, and shut the door behind him. Gai stirred on his back. "Is the kitchen near the living room?"

"… Yeah. If you let me down, then I'll go get you a drink as an apology for carrying me."

"No, you just stay still." Shikaku was already planning the ice bath that he was going to be dropping Gai into. Hopefully, and if his suspicions were right, there should be plenty of ice in the freezer.

Shikaku quickly stepped over the pile of blankets into the living room. His eyes scanned the room- there were two doors. One that led to the master bedroom, and one that led to the bathroom. The kitchen was part of the living room, really. The small refrigerator and freezer were pushed up right next to the stove.

Shikaku guessed the first doorway would lead him to the bathroom, and was gratified when his guess proved correct. The bathroom was small, but it had a tub. Shampoo, conditioner, and a men's razor lay on the sink countertop. Shikaku crouched next to the tub, noting how it was already twisted to the coldest setting one could possibly get. There was a folded up and thrown away ice-bag in the trash.

This was the house of a couple of taijutsu users alright.

Shikaku settled Gai into the tub, and started the cold water to fill up the tub. "Let's cool you down first."

Gai shivered, but didn't protest. Shikaku could swear he could see steam rising for a brief second. He stood, trusting that Gai wouldn't wander off, to go into the kitchen. He returned a minute later carrying a bag full of ice. He dumped it in. Gai mumbled, "You're doing it wrong."

Shikaku paused- and continued dumping in a bit more ice. He probably was doing it wrong. It was probably supposed to only be half the amount of ice, but Gai needed a quick cool down, a towel, and in another half-hour, or hour, a warm shower.

Gai sighed as he sank down among the ice-cubes. He rolled over, briefly burying his face in the cold water. Shikaku counted down the seconds- at fifteen seconds, he reached in to lightly touch Gai on the shoulder. Ga surfaced. "Yeah?" He sounded a little more awake now, but there was still a hazy quality to his eyes that Shikaku didn't like.

"Don't go under the water like that. I don't want you to drown."

Gai blinked, and slowly nodded. He sank into the water, slowly. But his nose remained above the water, letting him breathe, even as his head tilted back, further into the water.

Shikaku counted down the seconds until exactly ten minutes were up. "Gai, can you move? Ten minutes are up."

Gai didn't reply. Shikaku sighed, but didn't dare say his trade-mark 'How troublesome'. This wasn't so troublesome, as it was a teachers duty. Obviously Gai had no one else to do this for him. So he kept quiet, and stared at the razor sitting on the countertop. He pulled his eyes away, and reached into the tub to pull the sopping wet Gai out.

Gai squirmed as Shikaku dropped a towel on top of his head. "I'm not going to help with this just so you know."

Gai flushed bright red- the first expression that he'd seen yet. "I don't need you too! I'm perfectly fine on my own!"

"Good. I'll be in the living room then."

Shikaku pulled the plug to the tub, letting it drain as Gai slowly moved to start drying himself off.

Shikaku closed the bathroom door- and collapsed into a sitting position next to the low table. The sitting mats were stacked close at hand, but Shikaku ignored them to rest his forehead against the cool wood. It was no wonder nobody had stolen anything- mainly because there was nothing to steal. There were no pictures except for a few personal proudly displayed on the table. There was no furniture except for the table, stove, and refrigerator/freezer. Shikaku bet if he went into the bedroom there would only be a thin mattress, a pillow, and a few blankets. The entire place was empty and quiet.

Only recently quiet too, Shikaku thought as he glanced into the kitchen. Sitting on the stove was a pot. Next to the pot were dried, withered vegetables waiting to be cut and added to a stew that had probably gone bad by now.

Shikaku closed his eyes, and tried to turn off his brain from continuing on with its horrible conclusion. It didn't help.

* * *

Gai wrapped the towel around his body and considered just locking himself in the room and never coming out again. All of his actions recently had been extremely shameful. Being carried out by Ebisu and letting Genma get injured, challenging Kakashi most foolishly and selfishly to a match he hadn't been close to putting his heart in, and now a complete stranger had taken pity on him and taken him home.

Home was so very, very quiet.

Home was supposed to have Papa singing in the shower, yelling as he cut himself on vegetables, or snoring like a thunders rumble in bed. Instead it was silent, and Gai had found himself huddling under his Papa's blanket as he stared forlornly at a door that wasn't opening to let Papa in with a bag full of groceries or Papa coming in with a big, goofy smile saying that a mission had run late or… or…

_Because Papa isn't coming back_. The treacherous, traitorous thought that had been haunting his dreams had come back. Gai closed his eyes, curled up further underneath his towel. It was a thought he had tried to banish, reassuring himself that because no one had found Papa's body, he must've escaped and was merely hiding. When normal thinking didn't work, he'd gone out seeking fights and exercise.

_Papa is dead. _Papa wasn't dead, because he hadn't finished the stew, and Papa always said that you shouldn't waste food. They were too poor to waste food anyways.

_The vegetables are withered, Papa's bed is cold, and the door is empty_.

It had been a long, long four days since Gai had watched his father's back turn to deadly crimson and vanish. A long, long time of staring at an empty doorway waiting for someone who wasn't coming back.

Tears flooded Gai's eyes. Papa wasn't coming back, no matter what he told himself. Papa wasn't coming back, and Kakashi couldn't fight him until he felt better, because this wasn't something one could feel better about. Papa had told him, when they stood before Mother's grave, that grief took a long time to get over. Gai hadn't understood then, but now he could.

He couldn't wait for someone to pick his heart off the ground and dust it off to return to him. Nobody could do that. He could only get up on his own. But it hurt a lot, and Papa's stuff was everywhere, and he didn't want to touch it.

Gai sobbed into the towel without care, finally acknowledging his Papa's death.

When he came out, the living room was empty. He glanced around, scrubbing at tear stains. Whoever had helped him had left already. Not too surprising- it had been a long, long time. It was dark out, and he could distantly remember the late-morning sun on his skin when he had been picked up.

Gai straggled past the small table- if the man had taken anything, then Gai couldn't bring himself to care. He had been acting very un-shinobi like recently, and this person had taken him home. Who had done it anyway? It wasn't a member of ANBU- they wouldn't touch him. It must've been Minato-senpai, but Gai couldn't remember the face among the haze of heat and exhaustion. But Minato was one of the few adults he knew that didn't flat out ignore him.

Gai dragged his feet into the kitchen. He wasn't hungry, but he should probably eat. Eating was important. He hadn't touched the kitchen since Papa had… since Papa. Restaurants could fill him up, but he didn't have any money left. But he hadn't wanted to disturb the food left out waiting for Papa to cook either.

Gai stopped in the small kitchen, staring directly at the food left out. It was still there, but a piece of paper had been placed on top. Gai slowly took the paper, checking for any traps. There wasn't even a hint of chakra on the paper. There were no seals. Only beautiful, plain handwriting. It said, _This is a bit much for just one person, isn't it?_

Gai crumpled up the paper, and tossed it away. He glanced at the withered, dried vegetables- and tossed them out as well. No sense in keeping bad food. Gai settled the pot into the sink, and stared at the cleaned up kitchen for a moment.

Suddenly he didn't want to look at the kitchen any more tonight.

Gai turned away, exhaustion weighing heavily on his shoulders. He walked into Papa's bedroom- their bedroom really. Gai had often woken up, sprawled and drooling onto Papa's chest.

The futon was neatly made, and untouched. Gai crawled in, pulled the covers over his head, and stared into the darkness for a long, long time.

* * *

Ebisu stared at the scroll, stating that their small team had received another temporary teacher. Frankly, after their last temporary teacher, he didn't want any more. The name was tickling at the back of his memory, but it wasn't ringing too many bells.

"Yo, Ebisu, here early too I see." Genma slowly meandered his way up to Ebisu. He was still slumped slightly, but from what Ebisu could tell, the wound given to Genma on their desperate flight from the forest to Konoha was mostly healed from five days ago . Ebisu fidgeted for a moment- What to say next?

His first judgment of Genma was lazy. Lazy, unmotivated, and weak.

But when they ran into the Seven Swordsman, and Gai's father had appeared, it was Genma who managed to hold the team together. Genma who told Ebisu to grab Gai and carry him out. Genma who led them in the flight away, and did his best to protect the stunned, frozen Gai and Ebisu who was too burdened with carrying Gai to fight. The desperate flight wasn't very clear in his mind.

Genma had proven himself beyond Ebisu's snap judgment. So how did one apologize for looking down on someone else?

His father wouldn't.

But Ebisu was beginning to grow beyond just his father. Gai was supposed to be lazy as well. But Gai proved to be an inexhaustible machine that kept going long after Genma and Ebisu collapsed. He took Ebisu's training schedule in hand, piled it on top of his regular training, his challenges to Kakashi and punishment after, and the teachers training. Some of the teachers had been really tough too.

"Hi… Genma. Is your chest…" Ebisu trailed off, uncertain what else to say. His visit to the hospital had been mostly shoving the get-well melon at Genma and fleeing the room crowded with siblings. "I didn't ask yesterday how you were doing."

"The doctors told me I'm mostly good. Just don't overwork myself." Genma chuckled- Ebisu winced, sure that it was pulling at the wound, "I knew then they didn't know me, because if they did they wouldn't have worried."

Ebisu was worried though, because despite how it looked, Genma wasn't lazy at all. He was just smart in figuring out the least amount of work it took to do something really well. That was a different kind of smart then Ebisu who studied scrolls and books.

Genma glanced up at the blue sky, hands tucked into his pockets. "I'm surprised I haven't seen Gai around. He came to visit me at the hospital a few times, but he never stayed long."

Ebisu glanced down the road, where Gai usually did his morning laps down. It was part of the reason Ebisu had taken to waiting there- Genma's home wasn't too far, and Gai should be passing by soon. It was better that they went as a united force to the training field then separately. The ANBU members still shadowing them waiting to cut their throats would probably be more then glad to have them in one place.

Gai appeared down the road, a small dot moving at top speed.

"Looks like the loud mouth finally got here." Ebisu remarked out loud, pretending to ignore Genma's split-second sharp look. "What's that under his arm?"

Genma squinted off in Gai's direction. "Looks like paper of some kind. Huh. Ebisu- try not to be too harsh on Gai, okay?"

Ebisu didn't do comfort, or caring very well. He didn't do any emotion other then exasperation and annoyance well. "Can't promise anything."

"I think it's good enough for now that you're willing to try," Genma murmured softly, before raising his voice to drift towards Gai, "Gai! I see you're doing well!"

"Hello there my youthful friends!" Something twanged in Ebisu's mind, telling him that Gai's tone wasn't quite normal. He ruthlessly stomped down on the thought. Gai was trying, so he wasn't going to say anything. As Gai approached, Ebisu could see dark circles beneath his eyes- they wouldn't be noticeable on a normal person, but for Gai they stood out a bit like neon lights. "I see you are ready for exercise today!"

Genma shrugged lazily, mouth moving like he was chewing on his senbon. It was missing though, Ebisu suddenly noticed. "Not so much exercising for me though. The docs told me no senbon's either- they don't want me nicking myself."

"That is too bad Genma. Are you tired? If you ever need to be carried, just say the word and I will take you anywhere, anytime! Even if you were to call me in the dead of night with no stars and moon out I would still cross all of Konoha to repay you for the favor you did for me! You as well Ebisu! Never doubt that!"

"Who would want to be carried by you anyways?" Ebisu grumbled, unable to hold himself back. "What's with the paper Gai?"

Gai frowned for a brief moment, before charging on with a brilliant smile. "They are ads for homes! It occurred to me that it is most unyouthful to stay at my traditional home, especially as Genin are expected to move to their own homes to learn the art of trap setting!"

Well… that was… partially true.

Ebisu shoved out a hand. "Here, give it over to me, and I'll circle which ones you should take a look at first. You're doing this on a genin budget right?"

"Yes, but no need to worry! I am well versed in completing tasks in a genin's budget."

"Yeah, I just want to make sure you don't fall for any scams. Plus knowing you, you'll pick someplace that's too small. Have you looked into the Genin Housing situation? Those moving out from their parents can get a certain amount of funding as long as they prove that they're improving, which you are, and have a good chance of becoming a Chūnin at the very least within the next six years. You should be able to do it." Ebisu stopped- had he really…

Gai's eyes were swimming with unshed tears. Genma had the silliest looking smile plastered all over his face. "A-anyways! The point is, I'll take a look over the ads and tell you which ones are under the Genin Housing act and such!"

Gai hugged him. Ebisu felt his ribs cracking in response to the overpowering squeeze. "Thank you very much Ebisu!"

"Don't thank me! It's stupid if I have a teammate who can't fight because they couldn't sleep at night because of their neighbors!" They were skirting around the real reason- mainly too many memories at the old house- but Ebisu wriggled like an eel in Gai's arms. "Now put me down!"

Gai gave him another little squeeze, vertebrae groaned in protest at the motion. Then, he released Ebisu to allow the genin to drop to the ground. "Yes! I feel most revived today! Let us go to meet our teacher! I'm sure after our mission we will have plenty of time!" They usually did at least.

"Yep, let's get going."

Gai led the way, cheerfully and loudly talking. Whatever happened two days ago between he and Kakashi had apparently put him back on his feet. Or maybe Gai was just covering it up really well. Genma would know better than him- not that he could tell Genma that he was going to rely on him for anything.

Ebisu and Genma trailed along after him, Ebisu carefully matching his step to Genma's. It was the most effective way to tell when Genma's footsteps faltered slightly. When they faltered, Ebisu counted the number of steps it took to make them falter yet again. The intervals between were slowly shortening, but Genma was doing a pretty good job of keeping up.

Gai circled back around, staring at Genma. "Genma, do you need to go back to the hospital? Ebisu and I can handle the new teacher."

"No, no, I want to see what new teacher we have." Genma grinned- "Depending on how bad he is, then I might just quietly disappear for the rest of the week."

"Ha! That is most thoughtful of you Genma! I will be sure to visit you right after the mission while covered in the fruitful endeavor of the day so that you may enjoy it for yourself!" Gai's grin was blinding in the early morning light.

Ebisu smothered a laugh before it could bubble out of his lungs.

"Don't come visiting me covered in manure Gai."

Ebisu snickered.

Genma and Gai's head whipped around to pin him with different stares. Genma was a disbelieving, you-did-not-just-laugh. Gai was a trouble-making grin of Yes-He-Did.

Ebisu schooled his face to neutrality. "Let's get going. We don't want to be late to meet our teacher."

"Genma. I'll be sure to bring Ebisu along, even if I have to carry him."

"Don't do that! Do you want to give my younger siblings the wrong idea about the noble art of the ninja? What ever would they do if they knew most of our missions are spent in manure?"

Ebisu's mouth twitched as Gai dramatically pointed a finger at Genma. "Genma, stop being so selfish and cat-like! Think of your siblings that may be going into the academy one day! You need to let them know the dirty truth!"

Ebisu made a soft noise that was _almost _a giggle. Bad puns were always his weakness.

Genma and Gai were staring directly at him once more. "What?" Ebisu demanded defensively.

"I think this is the first time I've ever seen you smile." Genma said slowly, thoughtfully. "Now I have to wonder- what brought it about?"

Ebisu looked away, shoved his sunglasses as far as he could up his nose and announced nervously, "We should get going! Otherwise we're really going to be late."

"Hey- do you think… Ebisu likes puns?"

Ebisu started jogging ahead. Gai easily reached out, and picked him up. Gai may have been an entire two years younger; he also had far more muscle mass. "Now, now Ebisu- it's not nice to leave us behind!"

"Wha- wait a minute! Put me down you lug-brained idiot! Put me down-"

Genma held up a kunai, casually inspecting it for dirt. "I kunai help but wonder what you're thinking, trying to hurry off like that. It's a sharp pain in my heart you know."

Ebisu's mouth twitched- he held a hand up to his mouth, embarrassed by the lack of his control. But Genma was really, really good at targeting his weakness when it came to puns. Gai's grin was like a cat that caught a canary.

They were going to be late.

It was totally worth it though, to hear Gai laugh freely. Lines that didn't belong on Gai's face were finally beginning to fade slowly. Nothing was as fine as they were pretending, but it was enough for now, Ebisu thought.

* * *

_a/n: Thank you reviewers. I actually got the aftermath this time. I decided to try a different way then normal for the mourning period. Hopefully it still works._


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